PARENTING - It's a tough job!

Here are some of the questions we receive from readers just like you!


Growing up with a workaholic father that missed a lot of those important childhood moments, I vowed to be a different father and husband. Yet, no matter how much I do is never enough and the kids seem more misbehaved, disrespectful, and yet spoiled. I think I turned out okay but is it time I find a second job to straighten out my kids?

As the title of this page states ; "PARENTING - It's a tough job!" and it sure sounds like your finding that out first hand. So many times our expectations on how we want life to be and how it actually turns out are two very different things. We dream of how we will do a better job than our parents or how we'll weave their strengths into our own parenting repertoire. But marriage, society, cultural norms, resources (or lack thereof) and other variables in the mathematics of life have a say in how things turn out, too. It's the old "nature vs. nurture" debate and there's a lot of validity to it.

In the end, parenting is tough but it isn't rocket science. Really, the tough part is in the doing, not the planning to do. If you're married or have a partner, sit down together and think about what you're doing as co-parents. Are you undermining each other's authority? Are you setting limits and maintaining boundaries? Are you saying one thing and doing another? These questions are all worth considering. A good friend once said to me "Be prepared to live a life of rigorous honesty". In this case, it means taking a long, hard look at why the kids are acting out.

Of course, if things get too out of hand and you've reached your limit, grab the phone, call a family therapist and put the gang in the car. This is the kind of issue that really shows the strengths in family therapy. Good Luck!

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